Sunday, November 17, 2002

Legal proceedings

Big news out of The Yakuza camp this week. Here's the story as reported by the Associated Press:

LURIE BROTHERS NEWS

5-4 SUPREME COURT RULING FORCES EDGY POP-ROCK ACT TO CHANGE ITS NAME

AP-In the most bitterly contested string of legal rulings since the Florida Recount, the United States Supreme Court has finally weighed in on the burning question of who gets to retain the coveted band name "The Yakuza." By a 5-4 vote, the Justices have decided in favor of the Chicago-based band who originally held that name, despite the mushrooming popularity of the newer, edgier Seattle-based Yakuza helmed by Brothers Daniel and Robert Lurie. 

In defiance of the majority ruling, Justice Clarance Thomas wrote a somewhat convoluted dissenting opinion, which read, in part: "The landmark case of Plessy vs. Fergusson establishes a clear precedent that the name 'Yakuza' should rightfully belong to the group of musicians who sing about Burt Reynolds."

Yakuza drummer/banjo player Aaron Semer, no regular fan of Justice Thomas, nevertheless had this to say of the dissenting opinion: "It's just a shame, really, that such an eloquent argument could not sway the other Justices. What does that say about our country?"

Jon Kilian, another member of the West Coast Yakuza, held a packed press conference two hours after the ruling to announce his intention to move to Canada out of protest.

After consulting with their attorneys, the Brothers Lurie unveiled an ingenious two-prong strategy. Quoth Dan Lurie: "Rob did an IMDB search and discovered that an alternate title to the film The Yakuza (The Robert Mitchum thriller from which the band's name is derived) was The Brotherhood of The Yakuza. So we are now The Brotherhood of the Yakuza. Actually, I like this new name better, because, you know, we're brothers. Plus, it allows us to retain our 10 Japanese fans."

Brother Rob added, "On the advice of our attorneys, we are sending a copy of our debut EP back in time to the year 1995, before the other Yakuza was formed. We will proceed to unearth this copy and then sue the other Yakuza for stealing our name."

In response to a clarification question from FOX News, Lurie added, "Yes, Dan discovered the secret of time travel, by accident, while he was at a party at Ohio University. But this is the first time we've used it since that debacle with the Mary Celeste." Lurie refused to elaborate on this comment.

Undaunted by the legal setbacks, The Brotherhood of The Yakuza intends to go ahead with recording plans for Christmas 2002. Says Jon Kilian: "Dan recently discovered AC/DC and he's been playing these really meaty rock riffs. His falsetto singing is also coming into its own. Think Dirty Mind-era Prince. Rob just bought a couple of House of Pain records at a garage sale and he's now writing nothing but rap lyrics. You think I'm kidding, don't you?"

Brotherhood of The Yakuza's first full-length LP, tentatively titled The Friends of Audrey Green is due out Summer 2003.

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

One Hundred Years Ago They Were Called Samurai

The wait is over!

Two months ago we told you about The Yakuza, the smolderingly hot new group in the Solyoni music family. Those of you who have been unable to sleep for the past two months wondering if The Yakuza's debut album would ever be released can close your eyes and don your night caps at last. That's right. The powerful and important new ep One Hundred Years Ago They Were Called Samurai is available now. 

The Yakuza, featuring solyoni's Dan Lurie, Black Rider recording artist Robert Lurie, Jon Kilian, and Aaron Semer of The Plains, signed the final papers with Velvet Fallopian Tube Productions last week and now have full clearance to distribute their debut CD. Order yours today by sending an email to solyoni@hotmail.com. Include your mailing address, and we will ship you a limited edition copy of the CD critics across the map are calling "a savory mix of acoustic sensibility, senseless electricity, and sweet basil."

For further details on the release, full-length reviews, MP3s, photos and more, visit solyoni.com's The Yakuza page now!

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Introducing The Yakuza

Velvet Fallopian Tube Productions is thrilled to welcome The Yakuza to the solyoni music family!

Last weekend Solyoni co-frontman Dan Lurie took advantage of a rare visit by his brother, Black Rider recording artist Robert Lurie, to put together a musical dream team now known as The Yakuza. The group features the brothers Lurie, along with Jon Kilian and Aaron Semer of the Plains. Critics are already hailing them as "the next Traveling Wilberry's." The Yakuza has now completed their debut ep One Hundred Years Ago They Were Called Samurai. Check out solyoni.com's brand new Yakuza page to see photos of the band, and to download MP3s.

Sunday, June 16, 2002

What happened?

OK people. You might want to take notes. The issues at hand are... 

1. What in the name of Moses happened to Dan and Dom on the road? 

2. What's this I hear about Solyoni having brand new songs available for downloading at this very website, and when will Dan, Dom, and Bethany reunite to complete the road trip album, tentatively titled, Prairie Monsters? 

3. Is it true that Dan Lurie's brother, Black Rider recording artist Robert Lurie is coming to Seattle at the end of June to work with the Northwest contingent of Solyoni on a new collaborative ep? 

And the answers...

In short, Dan and Dom never made it to Seattle. The things they experienced and witnessed during their journey will be filed away in the annals of American lore. For now, we've created a Dan and Dom On the Road page featuring an inspiring/disturbing photo documentary so that you can better understand what happened during their travels. Check it out.

Since our demented duo was unable to make it to Seattle together, the new album is being put on hold for now. The good news is, while on the road, Aulisio and Lurie penned at least a dozen fresh tunes for the upcoming project. A few of the titles... "The Legend of Wily Granger and the City with No Sidewalks," "Toe Nail Moon," and "Trucker Shoe Polish Shoe Shine Machine."

You don't have to wait for the new album to get a sampling of the new material though. Shortly after finally making it back to Seattle, Dan Lurie hit The Basement studio with new Solyoni drummer Jon Kilian, and sound engineer/songsmith Aaron Semer of The Plains, to record two of the road-inspired tracks, "Gold Mime Robberies," and "Amusement Park Untitled." MP3s of these fresh tracks are available in the audio section. Be prepared: on Gold Mime Robberies, Solyoni adds drums and goes electric for the first time!

As for the rest of the album, there are hopes that Dom and Bethany will make it to Seattle sometime this summer for an inspired recording session spanning several days to complete Solyoni's much-anticipated second full-length release.

The rumors are true. Robert Lurie will be coming to Seattle at the end of the month. Last winter, Robert and Solyoni's Dan Lurie arranged a number of tunes and are now prepared to record them in The Basement studio with the aforementioned pair of musicians, Jon and Aaron. If all goes according to plan, an ep will be released this summer. Here's a list of possible tracks: 

1. Burt Reynolds' Heart
2. Country Song
3. Beacon Drive-In
4. French Bread
5. One on One (a Hall and Oates medley)


That's it for now. Keep checking back, as there is certainly a lot going on in the Solyoni world. Oh, and there will be an essay exam on this material at the end of the semester.

Friday, April 26, 2002

Solyoni gears up for concept road album

It looks like Solyoni co-frontmen Dan Lurie and Dominic Aulisio have finally worked out their differences with the corporate executives at Velvet Fallopian Tube productions. The label has agreed to finance all aspects of an upcoming concept album in which Lurie and Aulisio will travel across country in an unreliable compact Honda automobile. Along the way the duo will write songs of the road, and eat plenty of beef jerky. It seems Velvet Fallopian Tube was ready to nix the deal when Aulisio demanded that the label pay for upwards of 5 pounds of jerky per travel day. In the end both sides compromised and it was agreed the Tube would pay for 3 pounds of jerky and one container of that jerky chaw stuff per day. 

The dynamic duo will travel north from Ohio, then head west through the Dakota badlands. If they manage to survive the difficult terrain, they will eventually wind up in Seattle. Once there, they will begin a feverish 48 hour recording session in which they will take the songs created during the road trip and turn them into a glorious conceptual album set to be released this summer by Velvet Fallopian Tube Productions. The excitement level is high for this album, especially since no one has any idea what Lurie and Aulisio will create on the road. Giving this much creative freedom to the demented pair is a huge gamble for Velvet Fallopian Tube, as for all they know the duo could arrive in Seattle with twelve songs about beef jerky, which may or may not be a bad thing. 

Solyoni's third key member, Bethany Gordon, will not be making the trip. She's finishing up her undergraduate work at a university located deep in Ohio. What good this degree will do for a world-famous rock star, no one is quite certain. But rest assured, Gordon's fleeting vocals and kinder-jamboree instrumental melees will resurface very soon.

Without the presence of Gordon for the Seattle sessions, the group will be collaborating with numerous Northwest musicians including recently signed drummer John Kilian, and sound engineer Aaron Semer. Creating orchestral string arrangements for the album will be a mysterious yet talented man who requested to be referred to simply as "Divita." 

Updates on this project as it progresses will of course be found here at solyoni.com! The Journey begins mid-May.

Wednesday, April 3, 2002

Lurie and Semer hit the Spot

Those in the Seattle area should head on over to Mr. Spot's Chai House in Ballard tomorrow (Thursday 4/4). Besides their usual selection of Chai tea, the House will be offering up a thirst-quenching musical lineup of mildly epic proportions. Chai patrons will witness a delicately powerful solo set from solyoni's Dan Lurie. Following Lurie will be Aaron Semer, a man whose post-contemporary, pre-medieval, semi-sweet songcraft could potentially move you to cry and/or wash his car. The show starts around 8 p.m.

Saturday, March 9, 2002

Monthly sales report

Sales figures for Solyoni's new ep Sadness & Kickball continue to boggle the mind. Recently, it was reported that Schoolkids Records in Athens OH completely sold out their inventory of the critically acclaimed recording. That's right. All three copies we gave them disappeared within a matter of several months. Those in Appalachia need not worry though, as a new shipment has been received and should be on the shelves as we speak. 

Solyoni completists take note. The band has inked a deal with The Athens Film Festival. The heart-wrenching anthem "Sodabread Canoe" will be included on a compilation CD featuring musicians with an Athens connection, in support of the festival. Sales will help fund this long-standing, and highly entertaining annual celebration of independent films. The CD will be available in Athens this spring.

Sunday, February 17, 2002

Solyoni invades your personal computer

Solyoni mp3s are here! That's right. Now you too can enjoy the oatmeal smooth sounds of Solyoni from your own personal computer. Visit our audio section and you'll discover a rotating selection of songs ranging from the timeless tracks of Solyoni's elusive debut album 'swamp dirges,' to cutting edge new material. Coming soon to the audio section; Japanese B-sides and ridiculously hard-to-find live recordings. If you're looking for a specific Solyoni song and don't find it, please send us an email. We'll do our best to make your requests available for downloading. 

In other Solyoni news, the Sadness & Kickball ep has just gone from balsa wood to vulcanized rubber, doubling its sales totals to an unprecedented 2 copies sold. Once again, the transaction took place at Schoolkids in Athens Ohio.

Sunday, January 27, 2002

Sadness & Kickball goes balsa wood

Solyoni has just moved one step closer to Nelly Furtado on the Billboard charts as their new ep Sadness & Kickball has gone balsa wood, reaching the lofty sales mark of 1 copy sold. The transaction took place at Schoolkids Records in Athens Ohio last week. No word yet on who the lucky purchaser was, but we hope our CD will become the soundtrack to the remainder of their living days.

Solyoni co-frontman Dan Lurie recently finished up a short west coast tour with his brother, Black Rider recording artist Robert Lurie. The tour began and ended at the Main Street Ale House in Kingston Washington on Dec. 27. Here's the set list of their stunning debut performance together:

1. french bread
2. beacon drive-in
3. pink cotton dress
4. Burt Reynolds' heart
5. starfish jackhammer bean
6. Country Song
7. One on One (Hall & Oates medley)
8. swiss cheese masque

Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Welcome, Solyoni fans

Welcome to the long awaited, highly anticipated, and uncomfortably self indulgent official launch of solyoni.com. This site brings you, the fan, closer to Solyoni, the icons. 

After their most recent open stage tour of Athens Ohio in October, Solyoni felt they were perhaps becoming too big for their fans. Images of Aulisio, Lurie, and Gordon turning the cold shoulder towards autograph hungry coffeehouse patrons haunted the band for months. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to sign 2 or 3 autographs after a mentally and physically draining 15 minute set of unprecedented post-folk-pop? At the time, Solyoni was unaware of their increasing untouchability and rapid rise to mega stardom. The concept of making a coffee drinker stop to ponder the music for 12 seconds before stepping outside for a smoke was no longer a dream, but a reality. Would the fans embrace Solyoni's new found popularity, or would they turn away in a fit of hipster rage? 

During a spirited debate on the flat tax, the band decided it was time to return to their roots, and bond with the fans. Make the fans feel appreciated, warm, cozy, and free of all pain and disease. It was time to create solyoni.com. And here it is. The site is still under construction, so if you don't find everything you're looking for, for instance brownie recipes, come back soon, because Solyoni's crack web team is working non stop, updating the site regularly to provide you, the fan, with everything you need to fully support your wholesome Solyoni lifestyle. 

There's a lot going on in the Solyoni world. The band is going through a transition period with its members currently spread out between Seattle and Shady Side. Yet, with the expected success of their new ep, Sadness & Kickball, the future looks not only busy, but also bright, like a burning tortilla chip caught in the pilot light of a stove top.